Better Days

January 1st of this year, I wrote this hopeful post. At the time, I had several new hiking trails and was feeling very excited that new and good things were coming. Here is the photo of the spot that I visit often in my mind's eye:

And here it is today:


All the lovely rocks and boulders we climbed on, rested on, conversed and frolicked on have been washed away or buried by silt from the Station Fire. The stream has changed courses into a foreign direction. And the smell. I told Kat, "I don't think I will ever get over the smell of charred creek."

Those trails I had such high hopes for? All taken from me for one reason or another. Whiting Woods? Mountain Lions. Alpine? Mabel discovered a horse barn at the base of the mountain and disappears. Angeles Base? Mabel realized the horse barn is nearby, runs into the highway, gets distracted by all the dogs in cars and wanders in the road. And then the Arroyo burned...

And that pretty much sums up my 2009. I'm poorer than I have ever been in my adult life....including my supposed lean and hungry years. And I feel as though most of my life as I knew it has been completely ravaged by this year


Like life stabbed me in a critical placeOn closer examination, I see that maybe all is not lost


Maybe it's just a little charred
There are parts of me that are willing to fight to stay the course

There are places inside where hope still lives

And somehow I know that even if I run a ragged course with no clear cut path, even if my journey is unpleasant, I will find my way.

And so, I want to leave 2009 and my 61 days of consecutive blogging (!!!!!!!!!) with the lyrics to one of my favorite holiday songs. These words often get me through the tumultuous days when I visit my family and they've been ringing in my ears lately.

Better Days

by The Goo Goo Dolls

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

So my friends, I wish us all Better Days in 2010. I'll see you sometime next year. Happy New Year!