Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Nuts - Part 21 (=3)

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O.K., I promise this will be the last post on this topic but I did make it into town to see 1408 (=13) the other day. The movie was an amazing mind trip more than a horror flick and Cusack is soaking wet in several scenes. His performance was just breathtaking. It must really be hard to be the only actor in most of a movie.

So other nutty things:

1) When the art director gets it wrong: I was flipping through cable the other morning and ran across Mad Love. Two teenagers running away and had already wrecked their car when a love scene takes place. Logic would presume they have limited funds. Yet, there was at least $500 worth of candles in the love scene. Had they been the 99 Cent Store variety, I could have "bought" the scene. But these were the terribly expensive ones....

2)When the Director of Photography tries to be too artsy: I'm lost for an example here but you've seen movies that are lit so dark, you can't even see what's happening.

3)When the director moves the camera without motivation: I submit to you any Michael Mann movie. Mr. Mann (and many others) seemed to have missed out on the day in film school where they pointed out that if the camera moves, it's usually for a reason. It's not supposed the flail about wildly. And yet, Mr. Mann is a millionaire and more importantly in this town, always working.

4) When the casting director allows the director to get it wrong: For this example, I'll point to a movie in production, Get Smart, starring Steve Carell, a perfect choice for Maxwell Smart. They got it so wrong on Agent 99 by choosing Anne Hathaway. She is a perfectly fine actress and I've enjoyed her in many roles. But part of the exciting thing about 99 and 86 was the sexual tension. Excuse me for finding sexual tension between a 45-year-old and a woman 20 years his junior gross!

Why does Hollywood keep doing this?? Because they don't think people will go see a movie with a "mature" woman as the lead! And honestly, if the guy isn't really loaded, just when are you going to see that in real life? I know, men out there would like to think it's not about money, but it's always about the money, honey. Yet Hollyweird keeps casting this way and often the man in the movie is just a Joe Schmoe - not wealthy and yet he's got this tart on his arm. UGH! No wonder older folks stop going to the movies!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Nuts - Part Deux

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I kept thinking about things in movies that make me crazy and the only two films I ever walked out of came to mind.

The last movie I walked out of (and got a refund, thank you) was To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. Yes, that's the freaking title! It only went downhill from there! I think the biggest problem I had with it was sheer boredom. Now, I've sat through many a boring film but, this particular film was released on the heels (pun intended) of a fabulous drag queen movie from Australia that actually had a plot... and a heart.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert was brilliant and unlike its would be ripoff, realized that just putting a few guys in drag doesn't make a good movie. And it stars the always delightful Terrance Stamp. If you're ever stuck in a video store and can't choose a movie, Priscilla is wonderful... Julie Newmar sucks! Bottom line, if you're going to rip off a movie, do it well or don't do it!

The other movie I walked out of is Glengarry, Glen Ross. Despite having a wonderful cast (Lemmon, Pacino & Alec Baldwin) and being written by David Mamet, I couldn't sit through it. The part that made me leave??? The grand "F--- You!" scene.

I really have no problem with the F word. I used it myself way too frequently when I worked in the business. But I do have issues with unmotivated use of the word.

The dialog went something like this:

F--- you!

F--- you!

F--- you!

F--- YOU!

You get the drift... only it went on and on and on and on. I got up to leave and the manager refused to give me my money as it was an hour into the film... apparently if you're going to leave it should be 15 minutes into the film. Well, I'm a pretty squeaky wheel when it comes to money and I ended up with a free pass to the theater for another movie.

I was actually there with my boss! I told her I would be at the hot dog stand (same one I referred to in the last post). I had a dog and read a book until she came out the theater.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Nuts

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Janet's post about actors who stare at each other too long while "driving" has me thinking about other movie scenes that drive me nuts.

I've always had a hard time the suspension of disbelief - the thing in your mind that allows you to believe a cartoon character is a person or that Jimmy Stewart really is a regular guy who talks to an angel.

I'm always the one who notices that the car door was open in one shot but closed in another angle. Or that the actress was playing with her hair or soda and that the hair / soda moves from shot to shot.

Just the same, I always loved movies and still do. But I knew I was in for rude awakening working on my first film, Uncle Tom's Cabin, for Showtime. The young, handsome (now well-known) Associate Producer took his Production Coordinator girlfriend (now a really famous producer) and I to see some movie. All I remember was it was shot in LA. They were both homesick having been on location in Mississippi for months. In the film's opening shot, the camera was on a boom outside of Pink's Hotdogs. The excited couple started telling me all about Pinks and how I just had to eat there. The camera boomed down to street level to reveal the lead actor on a pay phone. As soon as they saw the phone both screamed out in unison, "That phone is not really there!" Thus began my real life encounters with what's fake and what's really fake in Hollywood.

Once, I got a phone call and 24 hours notice to be on a plane to South America for several months to work on a movie. I had never heard of the film even though we were to be shooting a sequel. The LA runner who took my passport for all the appropriate visas (on a Saturday) met me at the plane with my stamped passport, Australes and a script.

As my production manager and I settle in for 24 hours of traveling, we started to read the script. As I was few pages ahead of her, I kept looking up at her in disbelief. I was convinced the writer had to be drunk! (Turns out, I was on the mark.) The two lead characters would get out of one vehicle - say a Jeep, run into a building where some sort of action would take place. The actors would run and and get into the Ferrari. They would drive along chatting and suddenly be parking the corvette, run into a building, more action, run out and drive off in the Hummer. See the problem??

Luckily this kind of thing is easily rectified during shooting and that kind of stuff rarely makes it to the screen. It does amaze me that someone can sell such crap for mucho dinero and actually get the movie made.

My personal favorite thing to look for on screen is, when ever you see a road, look really close. Day or night, it's always wet. The reason this drives me nuts was it was my responsibility to get a water truck and an extra walkie for the driver.... which is not that big of a deal except on the way home. At the end of the day, especially in our windy, mountain terrain, a water truck must be empty to make it home safely. This often involved an extra permit for the water dump or sometimes finding farmer that would let us water the fields (and still get some money for the right to let us water his crops!). And since I'm always the last to get to leave, I would have to wait for the truck to be emptied.

Oh, why are the streets always wet?? Asphalt photographs as dull grey when dry. So if there is a street scene, it's always wet down before every shot to make it photograph black.

And while we're on the subject of water... that's another thing that makes me crazy. An actor gets out of water - a lake, ocean, etc. Is he ever dripping wet??? NO, not ever. Or maybe if the actor is shot getting out of the water, yes he is dripping but in subsequent takes (seconds later in the film), he's practically dry!!! They allow this because most actors complain and no one wants to deal with it. It really makes you appreciate John Cusack who I think is the most soaking wet actor of all time. Seriously, have any Cusack fans ever counted the number of films he's terribly wet in?? I think the answer is easily more than ten! That makes him a trooper in my book.

Of all the scenes in all the thousands of movies I've watched, the one situation that makes me the craziest is a scene where a woman and man are involved and supposedly love each other. Enter a bad guy who proceeds to kick the other guy's butt. What does the woman do while her paramour is being beaten to a pulp?? Why, nothing! She stands there, hands to her face but basically does nothing. I can honestly say, I don't know one woman like that! Do you?

I can tell you if someone started beating on someone I love, that guy better plan on taking me out or getting his own butt kicked! I want to see that heroine kick the bad guy where it hurts, grab a lamp and knock him over the head or, at a minimum, run down the hall and call 911. But to see her stand there, doing nothing to help her guy... I just want to reach out and slap some sense into her!

Finally, the last thing that drives me nuts has less to do with unrelistic on-screen happenings than to do with networks and how they don't really give good shows a chance. There were several excellent shows this past season that got axed way too easily. Favorites from this past season: Vanished, Studio 60, and Kidnapped. All were wonderful and all are gone. My other favorite was Jericho.

This show was such a favorite that fans have written letters of protests, set up websites, and even resorted to sending over 40,000 lbs. of nuts to CBS execs as a form of protest. (The word Nuts played a key role in the season finale having to do with going to war.)

Jericho
will return mid-season for a limited run to try and gain new viewers thanks to the efforts of the fans. That's the kind of entertainment craziness that makes me smile. ; }

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Sorry State of Affairs

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I went to my writer's group meeting for the first time in ages tonight and then on to dinner with mother - daughter friends from the group. I am about 4 or 5 years older than the daughter, an attorney.

Like many fabulous women I know in Los Angeles, she has fallen into the routine of commuting, working too many hours, commuting home and pursuing things that interest her such as a book group she runs, our writers group and an art group. And yes, she is still single.

She was telling me how, a few years back, she came to know the local homeless man when she was taking the bus to law school. Since then, they often speak to each other and he knows her by name.

The other morning, she was walking to her car and noticed him at the bus stop. She went over and inquired how he was etc. and he, in turn asked about her life. He specifically asked if she had a boyfriend or had gotten married.

When she told him no, his response was, "Dang girl, if I weren't homeless, I'd sure ask you out. I mean your reasonably attractive."

Reasonably?

As she complained the this was the only time a man had hit on her in ages and his best line was that she was reasonably attractive, I could only chuckle.

At least she still gets hit on. Heck, it's been so long for me, I'd pay someone for a "Hey Baby!"

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Told You the Possum Was FINE!

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After receiving a few emails from old friends stating my "Possum Pool" game was cruel, I thought I should prove once and for all that the critter is fine. Photos from last night.

The "spotlight" on the possum is a large flashlight... I had to give my camera something to pick out in the darkness so that it would take the darn picture. I realize you can't really see the critter in this one but, look at Mabel Lou go!



Another shot of her "hunting prowess."


Right after this, I got my hoe pool cue and sent him flying. Here is Miss M convinced she can still get to him through the block wall.



Look at what she's done to my fence! Brat! She'll stop at nothing to get to a critter.

Monday, June 11, 2007

I Just Don't Get It

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I am exasperated as I write this. Are all my web customers idiots or... is there something I just don't SEE???

I sell rubber stamps. I sell hundreds of different rubber stamps. 90% of what I sell (off the website) is rubber stamps.

So imagine my frustration every week when I receive a search report from the company that provides a search engine on my business website. Every week, the number one request is "stamps." How can this be??? This is the majority of what is on the website.

I am the first to admit that my site, clocking in at just over 900 pages, has become very unwieldy. Months ago, to counteract the searchers of "stamps," I went in and renamed every category that had stamps in it (which makes the bottom of every page look awful) just so people would stop searching for "stamps." And still, it's the number one request.

I wrote on my products page in big red letters "TO FIND THE STAMPS click the category below you wish to see." And still, they search for stamps.

So I've hired a big, expensive webmaster and the process is not something I'm looking forward to. And right now, I feel like I'm spending money simply because my customer base is either stupid or too lazy to read.
But it's either hire the guy or go bald.

What was it about running a business that was so appealing???

Friday, June 08, 2007

Vote for the Dead Guy

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I'm not too inclined to talk about politics but please allow me to plead this one political case. When there is an election and one of the contenders happens to be dead, ALWAYS vote for the dead guy. Seriously.

To illustrate my case, I only need to point to our sheriff here in Los Angeles. Lee Baca is a man who would have NEVER been elected had his opponent, our much beloved sheriff, Sherman Block, not died mid-election.

Despite many of our local talk radio stations pleading with people to vote for the dead guy, Baca was elected anyway. It's true, Block was ailing but I still believe he would have been elected had he not died. And while Baca is in the spotlight for allowing a certain obnoxious heiress out of prison early, he has not been the best sheriff by a mile. And I really wish we had elected the dead guy. Allow me to explain.

First, let me state up front that I find election stats mind numbing. When you consider the number of people who are eligible to vote and from that, the number of people who register to vote and then reduce that number down to the those who actually vote, do you realize we are letting a number of people far less than the majority of us control our world???

And when the choices of those politicians are so lackluster - they really are the same guy in a different suit most of the time - why not maximize your choice?? Vote for the dead guy. It forces another election... i.e. another choice. Don't we deserve that?

Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Home Crapot Battle - UPDATED

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UPDATE:Well, Home Crapot bussed in so many "supporters" (who DON'T LIVE here!), the meeting was postponed as the room could not hold us. Many did not even get into the building. I have canceled my Home Crapot credit card and vow never to shop there again.

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The small community I live in has been waging a battle against a store I have nicknamed Home Crapot (crap OH). It is a home improvement store and you can probably guess the name.

A couple years back, our local Kmart closed. Despite being a profitable store and the ONLY place within a 20 minute drive to buy non-edible household basics, they moved out and leased the space to Home Crapot. And our tiny, sleepy village went into action.

I live near the site and am not looking forward to a new, noisy neighbor. This retail giant has hired p.r. firms and lawyers and pollsters and signature gatherers to fight us. And when that hasn't worked, they played the race card.

I was shocked to find a very nasty article about our town on LatinoLA.com. I wrote my own response and was equally shocked when they published it so quickly. If you click on FORUM there, you will see another neighbor's letter as well.

We have a big hearing today. Cross your fingers for us.

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On a happier note, I made something I really like on the torch. I liked it so much, I put it up for auction. While it wasn't really my intention to start auctioning off my glass, you end up with so many beads. Some of them you just want to show off! Here's a pic:
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Monday, June 04, 2007

Possum Pool

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Well, it appears I have a new hobby. Possum Pool - so named by my house guest from Reno.

The past few nights, I've worked in the shop, torching or on the computer til around 10:30 - 11:30 at night. The first night my new hobby was christened, I was exhausted and had just curled up to watch a video with my guest.

Mabel started going berserk, tearing down the lattice fencing that surrounds my property (in front of a cinder block wall). I gave up on the lattice years ago but she was in my vegetable garden after a critter. This is unusual as most critters favor the canal side of my property - that's where the mulberry tree and grape vines are.

My guest got the flashlight and immediately found a possum on top of the fence. I was in no mood for a three hour bout with a critter (Mabel jumping, barking, & whining; Me spraying water; the critter disappearing for a bit and then returning; Repeat ad infinitum.) And, I wasn't about to let Mabel tear up my veggies.

I grabbed a hoe on the back porch, jumped up on my lawn furniture, cued up and BOOM. I knocked that little sucker into my neighbor's yard. Thud. The neighbor's turned on their porch light and came outside as my guest, Mabs and myself quietly went inside.

My house guest was quite worried about the little bugger but I assured her the possum was "part cat" and would be more than fine.

Well, he was. The same thing has now happened three more nights. I'm getting rather good at knocking that little critter off the wall.

You would think he would take off when he sees me coming with that hoe. In fact, I'm starting to think he enjoys his little amusement park ride...he certainly keeps coming back for more.

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Happy 41st Anniversary to my sister and brother-in-law in Baton Rouge. He says it's a miracle they are both alive. She's fought off cancer several times and somehow has not managed to kill him. My mom and I both think he's qualified for sainthood! I was 2 when they married and was quite an annoying little flower girl in their wedding on June 4, 1966. My BIL is the big brother I always wanted and has been a surrogate dad since my own died. I'm so happy they have each other.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Eying an Update

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Hi Blogger friends. Sorry it's been so long.

My eye is finally on the mend. It swelled up to golf ball size every morning for several days, only reducing with the aid of cold compresses. My vision has improved from blurred to double in that eye. Today it's almost normal. There is a raised circle visible through the eyelid. It's just smaller than a dime. I was hoping to cancel my follow up visit with the doctor - - why should I pay for two visits? But, if my eye still looks like this Monday, I will have to see her.

I've been having a good time with my house guest and got to see the Greek mom once. Hope to see her more next week. My house guest and I have been fusing lots of glass. My only complaint is NOT being on the torch -- probably not the best idea to be playing with fire when I have double vision!

I did manage to take a few pictures of Mabel and her new buddies and hope to get more in the creek tomorrow. I will put those up soon.