I found out today that the store is closing. Not only have I lost the classes I built my whole crazy fall schedule around, I've lost a significant amount of income.
I can't remember if I mentioned that I'm taking jewelry fabrication at Santa Monica college. I signed up for the class to get me on campus early enough to take glass blowing. After one session of glass blowing, I dropped out. (It was too freaky watching all those newbies struggling with the furnace door while dangling a red-hot punty and strewing hot glass stringer all around the room. Plus, I'm trying to work smaller in glass... not bigger.)
Leaving class on Thursday, I looked around the art quad at all these crazy art kids. It's so painfully obvious that we see the world slightly askew. I marveled at the fact that I never even had the nerve to set foot in an art department my first trip through college. But now, some 25 years later, I fit right in. And it's taken me so long to get here. And I'm not ready to give it up.
The thought of needing a "real" job to supplement my income scares the heck out of me. I found myself remembering a blog by another lampworker's husband that I read only yesterday. Re-reading that short, sweet post has brought me a great deal of comfort in spite of feeling like my world is falling apart.
And it's true. There is this part of me that knows I wasn't supposed to be there, teaching all those classes. There is something else planned. I'm just not privy to the blueprints yet.
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4 comments:
It must feel like your world has tilted. I know you'll figure out a way, and it will be scary in the meantime. Know that you have friends rooting for you!
Holly, I know it's a clich� to say, "When one door closes, another one opens," but that's always been my experience. Trust that there are better things ahead for you, and don't let worry cloud your thoughts. There's no doubt in my mind that there's an opportunity out there just waiting for you to find it.
Janet, It tilted upside down. I'm just floored by this. Thanks for being in my corner!
Velvet, So true! My experience as well. It's just always a little scary when you don't know where you're headed. But like Rick said in his blog, If you're scared, you just don't trust that God has a plan. I'm trying really hard to trust right now. Thanks for the kind words!
Trust that part of you that 'knows', Holly. I truely believe it.
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