The Not-so Smooth Criminal

I'm an honest person. I'm the type that counts my change and if I've received too much, I give the excess back to the clerk. But today, I became a thief.

It started innocently enough. My plans for the day were to ship some orders, torch and take Mabel to the middle arroyos for a long hike. After torching, I got ready for the muddy walk. I hesitated in the kitchen...."Am I hungry?" I had had a large, late breakfast as well has a handful of nuts while torching... "No...just go."

We jumped in the jeep and just as we got off the freeway, I felt it...annoying hunger pains! The only fast food places between me and the arroyo were two yogurt shops and McDonalds. I turned into the parking lot and should have been suspicious that there was no parking on the east side of the building. I couldn't access the west side because of the twenty or so cars in the drive through.

I pulled a U turn, exited the east lot and went in the wrong way to get the the West side... still no caution bells going off. I went inside and suddenly realized that school had just let out. McDonald's is the first thing between FOUR schools and the little town.

The cacophony of screaming kids in the packed lobby was unbelievable. They were screaming across the the lines to each other...asking for money, why didn't you walk with me, where have you been...

You know, when I grew up... back in the dark ages, kids went home. We didn't head to the nearest fast food joint. No wonder we have such an obesity problem in this country. I have no doubt this McDonalds took in around $4,000 just after school!

I was so unnerved with all the screaming and running kids. It was so loud in there, I had to scream my order across the counter to be heard. When the clerk asked a question about my order, she had to scream to make me hear her.

Everyone would step aside and wait for their order but the restaurant was really hopping. There were fries coming out of the fryer constantly. I had barely waited a minute when a clerk approached and said, "Six piece?"

I said yes, grabbed the bag and ran out of all that noise. Backing up in the crowded parking lot, I found something extra in my bag: a large order of delectable, piping hot fries. I sat there...did I pay for these? No... do I pull back in and take them the fries? A teenager honked at me for blocking traffic and so I did it... I made off with those fries!

I decided they were my bonus for putting up with all those screaming kids! Of course now, I feel guilty on more than one level.

And, I still need to hide the evidence.