Thursday, October 04, 2007

Mother of the Year

Velvet wrote a great post tonight about a strange courtroom scene that occurred during a contested adoption. It reminded me of one of the worst stories about adoption.

I had a friend in college name Marie. Marie was ancient at 30! I couldn't believe a woman her age was in college, living in the dorm with all of us 18 year olds. She was back in school to start a second career.

Her first career, one she loved, was that of a social worker. Her first week on the job, she had been assigned the case of boy who was in a loving foster home. He had been there since infancy. His foster parents wanted to adopt him more than anything. He wanted them to adopt him.

But the law stated that there was a certain amount of time that must pass without contact from his birth mother before parental rights could be terminated. Every year, it would come down to the last possible hour on the last possible day and his mother would call and want to see him, thus resetting the clock.

After almost ten years of this, Marie had had enough. The last time that mom called, she resigned.

I've thought about that boy so many times over the 20 + years since I left college. Every time, I pray that some judge somewhere figured it out and let him be adopted.


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2 comments:

Ordinary Janet said...

I can see why Marie was discouraged by that case, but it hardly seems like a good reason to give up social work.

That mother is the most selfish person I ever heard of. I hope the boy told her off when he grew up. I hope that he was eventually adopted, even if he had to wait till he was 18 and free of that woman.

Isn't it frustrating not to know how a story ended?

CreekHiker said...

Janet, A lot of stuff about the job got to her. I have another social worker friend who got shot at removing kids from a violent home. It's a rough job!

I really think the system is set up to favor the parents. I really think the law should give them three chances to fix their life and then, give the kids a chance to have a life!

These parents learn quickly how to work the system and they don't take it seriously.