Baby was a gift to us from Santa Claus last Christmas. Mabel opened her and, as she does with all extra special things, she promptly buried Baby in the dirt by the compost bin. I duly reported that here and one fervent reader insisted repeatedly that I must make some effort to save Baby's life. So I dug her up after a week...but only because a rain storm was coming in. Baby could (and did) survive being buried alive but the mud would have surly killed her.
Mabel promptly buried her again as soon as the storms passed. Not wanting to confess this publicly, I gave Baby a bath in the washing machine and put her in
Mabel gleefully posing for photos with Baby.
Mabel's relationship with Baby was contentious at best from this point on. Whenever Mabel would not listen, I would go get Baby and have Baby show Mabel the correct way to do things. Baby was especially good at getting cookies, giving Mamma kisses and taking naps when Mamma needed one. Basically anything I wanted Mabel to do, I could get Baby to do it better. Praises and kisses and pets and cookies were heaped on Baby. Mabel did not like this! She didn't like it at all!
When I would leave and return, I would find Baby in the back yard. Sometimes I wouldn't even notice until I found myself settled in bed at night.
"Where's Baby Lou? What did you do to her?" I would admonish.
Mabel only looked guilty.
But I would leave Baby outside until Mabel stopped listening.
"Mabel, come take a nap with Mamma."
"Grurumph," says Miss Piss (a.k.a Mabel).
"BABY! Where are you!???! Mamma needs a nap buddy!"
I would go and get Baby and suddenly Mabel was ready for a nap too. Funny how that worked.
Back and forth we went all summer. We tore her head almost off in a game of tug of war. I gathered up her guts and sewed her back together. After Mabel was particularly mean to Baby, I would make them kiss and make up. Mabel would kiss Baby, but I could tell, she resented it. The games continued on...
But then I had to push things too far. I am as guilty of a party to Baby Lou's death as if I had ripped her apart myself. I am so ashamed.
Mabel was not listening yet again and I told her, "You are so bad, I'm not taking you to the creek today. I'm takin' Baby!"
I went and got Baby and ceremoniously put her in the car on Mabel's seat! This horrified Mabel. When we finally did leave to go to the creek, I put Mabel in the back. She made a beeline for Baby, picked her up, gave her a good shake and placed her in my seat! I put Baby in the passenger seat (up front!) and off we went. Sensing I had pushed a few buttons, I left Baby in the car for our hike.
Later, when we got home, Mabel reached up front and took Baby out of the car. We had a good game of chase and I went in to work. When I came out, I found poor, dead Baby.
Her bottom had been ripped off....
...and her innards strewn about the shop yard and driveway.
I found her bottom nearly under the electric gate.
and her heart and soul (squeaker) were on the hearth in the house. Was Mabel trying to cremate Baby???
I cannot blame Mabel. It was me that pushed her to her crime. We both should be punished. I am certain we are not on Santa's good girl list this year.
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6 comments:
Thanks for a good laugh! Mike's Coli has managed to find and drag in every single greyhound-abandoned toy left hidden in an acre yard. Some of them are *not* a pretty sight! Carmon
LOL!! Oops, I forgot, we must be respectful. giggle Have services already been held? Poor Baby Lou. I think you can be charged with stuffieslaughter since it's clear that you taunted Mabel to the point where Mabel felt she had no choice but to eliminate what she came to see as her bitter rival.
At least this solves the question of what to get Mabel this Christmas!
Bwahahahahaha! Giggle. Snort. (Okay, trying to settle down here.)
I don't mean to be judgmental, but I personally think Baby Lou has gone to a better place. Her story reminds me of poor Cinderella, who was so bitterly resented by her stepsisters and used by her wicked stepmother.
I'm willing to cut you some slack, though. Even if your affection for Baby was dictated by your personal agenda, it was the only affection she ever knew, and it must have made some of her days brighter. Plus there's the fact that you're so obviously repentent.
As for Mabel Lou, be careful next time you scold her. Now that you know she's capable of violence, maybe you shouldn't turn your back on her.
Funny! Cheyenne does this right off when getting a new toy. The stuffing and the squeaker MUST GO!
Carmon, They do wash up quite nice in the machine. I've salvaged many toys that way.
Janet, First on Mabel wish list is always tennis balls, followed by cookies. She would be quite fine if we never got another Baby.
Velvet, I am very well aware of Mabel's power. You should see her come in and spin my office chair around... her way of telling me I've been on the computer too long!
Alison, Mabel does usually remove the squeaker right away too. I have no idea how this one lasted this long.
Her squeaker!! Too funny! Love the photographic evidence. Very CSI of you! Thanks for stopping by to read my post about Mallory. Hope you visit again soon!
:) Robin
cinnamon & honey
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