Position: Full time care giver.
- MUST. LOVE. DOGS. Namely, ME.
- Should be able to cope with a submissive pee -er. A little piddle on the floor or your shoes is no big deal.
- Needs to grasp the concept of rituals: 1)Meal time consists of heating my water, pouring kibble in my bowl, placing EXACTLY three pieces of kibble each on three of my beds, adding in meds and canned food and mixing it to "Mabel Lou stew" consistency. 2) Bedtime consists of reminding me to go potty (some humans are amazed that I can do on request!) and placing EXACTLY three pieces of jerky in the following order: One at the beginning of the hall and two on the bed.
- Speaking of bedtime, you are allowed to share my bed. Your share of the queen sized bed is approximately one foot by six feet. Sometimes less. Should you deem we require a king sized bed, your width would be the same but I can understand and adapt to your length needs.
- Must NEED to hike as much as I do. My current caregiver thinks this is once a day but it's actually about seven times a day. Applicant should be adept at encountering all kinds of wild animals: coyotes, raccoons, possums, rattlesnakes, non-poisonous snakes, lizards, hawks, ducks, rats, mountain lions, bears, cranes, smaller birds, fox... etc. Applicant should also be able to handle a canine with an insane prey drive around cats.
- Applicant should remain calm when among packs of dogs. My friends and I enjoy a meet up at the creek and we play rough. Applicant should understand my body language for when "enough is enough" and be comfortable extracting me from too much frolic.
- Must have the ability to earn green papers while working from home. ABSOLUTELY NO LEAVING ME ALONE FOR LONG HOURS IN THE NAME OF GREEN PAPERS. SERIOUSLY, THIS IS THE DEAL BREAKER! I require companionship DAILY!
- Understand when I need to see the vet. Even if I don't want to go.
- If you are unable to perform any of your duties at any time, you must replace yourself for ALL duties.
- Must have the ability to cope with a dog that has a flair for the dramatic.
- The love of the most amazing canine - ME!
- You must have the ability to earn your own green papers to take care of us.
I don't think this is a very demanding list but let's just see. Who knows? I may find a better mom!