I found myself exclaiming that phrase, out loud, in frustration, as I raced through the pouring rain Friday night. I knew the storm was coming; just not the details. I went from a dead sleep to sitting bolt upright in bed at 1:30 a.m. to dashing into the storm to secure stuff that should not be outside in the rain: the food color for the shop, the new tools, the new shipping boxes from the post office.
California is typically very dry, even at night when some places are moist. I often stage items going into the studio or the house until there is room. And this rain caught me off guard. As I tossed the last of the shipping boxes into the safety of the shop and really heard myself utter that phrase, I froze in my tracks.
Unaware of the cold rain, I started thinking about how so often we are caught off guard by the obvious and inevitable. We live our lives, knowing that the cheeseburger doesn't help the cholesterol and seem offended when the heart attack knocks on the door. We know our bad diets and lack of exercise aren't good for us and still we are shocked when illness finds us.
Do we live our lives in denial? Maybe. But more likely, I think we know that all that effort and hard work will never stave off the inevitable. Life is only temporary.
I don't know much...no questions were asked upon this diagnosis. It's hard to plan for battle when you don't know much about your enemy. I just know that my little family... it's been the four of us for my whole life... is in for another fight. We have our jobs: to feed her and love her, provide for her comfort, get her to appointments, provide her with laughs. But, we are simply willing Lieutenants to her General. It is her battle to win.
I knew this storm was coming. I just wish it were a few more decades down the road.