We typically spend the holiday with my best friend's in-laws and have a rather quiet and elegant day. This year, the in-laws all had other plans save for the Mom, one of my favorite people in the world.
Normally, my best friend's siblings and mother all gather at her sister's house about an hour and a half away. We never go there because, for some strange reason, my BF's ex managed to get "custody" of her family in the divorce. Seriously, my BF feels it's more important for her son to be with his cousins than it is for her to be there.
But, through a strange series of events, her family all ended up here in Sunland and we even got my Godson for the day.
As usual, the BF chided me for making too much food. She made a Tur-duck-hen and had several Sam's Club chickens, mashed potatoes, shrimp bisque, green veggies, Hungarian Apple bars and chocolate cake. Her sister brought ambrosia, Hungarian poppy seed pastry, and a pumpkin cheesecake birthday cake for two of the nephews. I made sweet potatoes w/ pecan topping, gingerbread, the gravy, homemade cranberry relish, and a huge pan of my mom's cornbread dressing. As usual, I chided her when we actually started running out of food before everyone had even arrived!
The food was great and the company was wonderful. We haven't all been together -this wonderful Hungarian family that adopted me my first year in California - since a funeral in the beginning of the year.
But the kids just made it miserable for most of the adults! All of the grandchildren are almost grown. My Godson, 16, is the youngest. Some of the older cousins have kids now. After watching these "kids" interact with their offspring, I think it's a shame we don't require parenting classes.
These little ones... aged from 2 - 10 were so horribly behaved. Running, jumping on furniture, screaming in the house. They ran in and out constantly even though it was in the high 40s outside. Their little hands were on the very door they opened. Couldn't they simply close it? And my favorite... all of them were fascinated by a half wall that separates the living area from the dining room and actually tried to climb the wall!
I was ready for home after cooking two nights and all day. I was in no mood for this. But as I sat lingering a bit with my BF's mom and mother-in-law, I had a most interesting example of mothering gone a muck.
The mother of two of the cousin's arrived. I've had much disdain for this twit since I met her precious infant daughter almost 20 years ago. This twit was never much of a mother to this girl or her brother. Their father raised them alone. To this day, she hardly sees the kids and has made two more with some other baby daddy. The thing I most despise about this woman is her inability to see how her own actions affect her life. It's always someone else's fault. I couldn't be with my kids because their father took them. Her lying, cheating, drug addiction and leaving the children with virtual strangers for days on end had nothing to do with it. I can't get a job because nobody will give me a chance. Not showing up for work is a sure way to lose a job.
She walks in and sees her two eldest and starts crying, "My babies, my babies!" to the great embarrassment of the kids. She finally gets some food and joins us at the table while her two five-year-olds run wild.
As she turned around for the third time in two minutes to get one of the her girls off the wall, she offered up this bit of parenting philosphy:
I can't control them. They just have no respect for me. Do you know what {Little Girl} said to me last week? I was correcting her for ...something and I told her, if you don't stop that, I'm going to spank you. You know what she did? She went running to {Baby Daddy} and said, "That bitch told me she's going to spank me!"
She paused to acknowledge the shock on all our faces.
It's his fault. If he didn't call me that, the girls wouldn't. What can you do... you just have to let it go.
The older women at the table said nothing... I think they were just as shocked as amused. But I couldn't resist.
"No one can mistreat you if you don't allow it."
But that's what he calls me.
"Yet, he still sleeps in your bed..."
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6 comments:
Oh, Lord. I wouldn't host a get-together in my house with those wild animals...er..kids. And people don't want us to bring our dogs because they might ruin the furniture or something.
Birth control should be mandatory until people can pass a parenting test. Scenes like that make me shudder. I hope what you said to that woman makes her think.
Janet, I hear you on the birth control.
I doubt anything will have an impact on that loser!
I'm wondering what kind of people those out-of-control kids will grow up to be, too. I don't want to see kids sitting with their hands in their laps, but parents should teach them that they have to act better in other peoples' homes than they do in their own homes. It seems parents are afraid to discipline their kids, for fear the kids won't like them anymore.
Holly-just wanted to thank you for telling about the neti pots-I probably would have never found out about them. It seems to help a little. Wish it cured colds, though!
Janet,
I was just on YOUR blog to remind you of the neti pot! Great minds think alike!
I'm not around little kids much these days except at the grocery store. Some of them are cute and well-behaved, but there are certainly a lot of out-of-control ones annoying everyone. I consider the latter group walking advertisements for birth control.
Good for you for calling it like you saw it.
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