Monday, February 23, 2015

Happy Birthday to the Girl I Miss

Happy Birthday Mabel Lou! You would have been 13 today!

I'm not doing so well without you. Sure, I put on a brave face and I try to hold it together... but it's so hard.

Your replacement - that I'm certain you picked out for me - is a troubled pup. And while I'm flattered that anyone thinks I can handle this, it's so very hard.  She is such a fearful pup... I can feel her trembling when I pet her. The slightest touch can send her scurrying away and looking back at me as if I had done the most horrible, vile thing to her. Mostly, I just feel like I don't know what I'm doing at all. And I fear I'll never be able to help her.

I miss having a rough and tumble dog, one that loves a good, hearty scritch. I miss having a dog who wags her tail: the sound of my voice, the songs I sing, a tennis ball, a lizard, a golf ball, a friend... they all had their own special dance performed by the tail that was the reason I gave up on coffee tables.

I miss a dog that plays: hide and seek, chase, ball, hide the baby (stuffie). All brought you so much joy. I've given all your toys away as they mean nothing to her. I have very real fears that by the time I have a playful dog again, I'll be too old to run and jump and roll.

I miss having a dog that doesn't run squealing down the hall when I ask her to kiss my ugly mug. I miss sleeping next to you, even those times when  you would wake me as you dug my hands out from under the covers because you needed petting in the middle of the night. I miss having a dog that will nap as long as I like. I miss the earthy creeky smell of your paws.

I actually miss the constant interruptions when I work. Your perpetual nagging for me to pay attention to you. I miss our arguments. Even though we spoke different languages, I understood you and you got me! You could make your case as well as any lawyer. I would often cave... but when I said no, you would give in but make your displeasure known.

I miss having such a funny, smart, and sweet dog.

I miss you...


♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Awww, we miss Mabel too - happy birthday to the sweet Angel. Maybe Blue needs a puppal:)

Woos - Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning

K9friend said...

This post definitely made my eyes tear up. What a sweet tribute to Mabel.

Critter Alley

Millie and Walter said...

Happy Birthday Angel Mabel. We are sure you will melt away Miss Macy Blue's hard edges. It just might take some time.

KB Bear said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet Mabel. She was incredible - just perfect for you. And now she's guiding you from your heart. Follow all that she taught you. I hope that she's eating cake and rolling in the grass on the Bridge.

Dory and the Mama said...

Happy Birthday Angel Mabel Lou...we miss you!

Just by being patient and gentle with Macy Blue, you are giving her so very much!

Snowbrush said...

It troubles me to picture you with a dog that might not ever be what you need. I wish I had something to offer that might help her, but all I can think of are tranquilizers and anti-depressants. Some of the latter work well for anxiety, and with me, this affect still lingers tend years after I stopped taking Zoloft.

Angel Pip and Ruby said...

We miss Mabel, too! She was a very special pup. I truly believe Macy will come around. In some ways, maybe you both need to learn to trust and love again ...maybe you can help each other ...maybe this is why Angel Mabel chose her for you.

We faced some very similar days with Ruby and it took a long time for me to let her in. I just missed Pip so desperately and still do. I now see Ruby starting to trust me and I in turn am letting her in and accepting that Pip is gone ...and it's ok and even a blessing that they are very different dogs. I'm rambling, but just know everything will be ok.