Tuesday, August 19, 2014

72 Days

If I have one complaint about my Macy Blue, it is her lack of affection. I've never encountered a dog who doesn't figure out I'm the lady with magic fingers and demand my full attention at every opportunity...until Macy.  Even strangers dogs have sought me out for pets!

If I've questioned my choice in getting another dog so quickly after Mabel's passing, it has been over this issue. She is not affectionate. Oh, if I come near her, she rolls over and offers her belly. But that is a sign of submission, not affection. And frankly, I feel way too old to be on the floor all the time. I want a sofa dog and I want one NOW.

But there are signs... I have her undivided attention in dog class (even when the cookies are not out!).

She hates getting separated from me on the trails (thanks to her getting lost once).

There has been a nap on my bed...ONE.  Otherwise she acts like I'm plotting her murder when I ask her to come up. She has obliged - four times. For cookies. And then jumped down.

She comes on the sofa now...if there is food or coffee involved.

She does give a goodnight kiss upon request... I liken Macy to dating the awkward male. He's fine with a little petting but as soon as there's any indication of feelings involved, he'll make a weird joke and ruin the moment. I get down on the floor every night after dinner for "cuddle time." For precisely 30 seconds, I'm allowed to pet my dog. Less if I get too close to her face or if she feels cornered.  Then she goes to chew her bone, tail wagging, until I return to the sofa.

This is an improvement. At first, the bone chewing was preceded by zoomies outside. After several weeks, the zoomies stayed in house. And now, she doesn't need to zoomie.  But the 30 seconds has not changed...

Aside from my allotted time, there is no real affection to speak of. I cried so hard today looking at Mabel Lou's Year in the Life posts... I was looking for my own medical history and I remember it better in terms of my dog than myself. And seeing that precious girl who, even though I swore I hated her, she loved ME! And she needed my pets and attention daily. From  day one.

On day 72, I was on the sofa and Macy was in her bed. She got up, came to me, got my attention and curled up under my hand. That was the first time she asked me to pet her. She's asked a few more times since...but not every day.

I know Macy's history is strange. I feel she's not accustomed to human hands and the comfort they can bring. She's just thrilled to be inside a house, with a bed beds of her own,  good food twice a day, lotsa cookies, lizards in her yard, friends, restaurant visits, and daily walks. These are all things I'm certain she's not had...well someone fed her but that was pretty much it.

So I have to keep going to her, offering affection I know she doesn't really want yet. They say you get the dog you need. Apparently, I needed a dog who would make sure I could still touch my toes throughout my fifties.


♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

If it is any consolation, it took years for Phantom to really seek any sort of human contact. He was always very content to be with Dakota or by himself. Very aloof, but would always come for treats. Never one to sit at my feet, never looked for petting, never cuddled. Now that he is a senior, things have changed. He has come to like a gentle petting and will at lie closer to me. But the look in his eyes tells me how much he loves me and that is good enough for me. Not all dogs are cut out for the touchy feely (just like humans:). With time Macy will come around, maybe she just needs time and assurance that she is somewhere safe and loving.

rottrover said...

THAT is a fabulouse picture of my girl!!


The Adventures of the LLB Gang said...

Bilbo...also not a social guy, he likes his cookies, occasional ear scritching and that's about it. He is a family bed sleeper and will take naps with me...but not if I try to snuggle with him....hang in there!!!

Ruby said...

I agree, just hang in there, I thinks Macy will come around. Hey, I don't do the snuggles either. Never have. Even when I was a pup. I would rather wrastle you than snuggle you! butts, I now loves it when Ma gives me scratches and belly rubs and all that stuffs. I'm what, 6 yrs old! BOL Oh, I guess that doesn't help does it! Sorry. Give it time, I thinks you might have a snuggle bug hidin' in that beautiful black and tan gurl yet!..oh, and cookies..LOTS of cookies!! ☺
Ruby ♥

Millie and Walter said...

You are making progress. Snuggle bugs don't always start out that way but having her undivided attention at class is a big plus in my book. My dogs were always distracted by everything else going on.

Snowbrush said...

I had a schnauzer that didn't like to be petted, but that dog was so devoted to me that the two times I left her at someone else's house, she ran away immediately to find me, yet Peggy was there on those occasions, and people she knew well were there on the other. So, I hope you won't take the lack of interest in massage as a sign of coldness.

Dexter said...

Give her time. My poor little Dexter was so used to getting pushed around by Mango that it took him a long time after Mango died to get cuddly. He wouldn't even lay down in the prime spot next to my comfy chair for months (now it is his preferred location). I know your heart aches, but you need to let her come to you in her own time.

Mango Momma

Pat Wahler said...

She'll come around. Just from the small changes you've written about it's clear she's bonding to you.

Critter Alley