I'm Half Alive but I Feel Mostly Dead

Sigh... You know that really tired down deep in your bones? Yeah, I got that. Today was the first day in about three weeks I didn't  have to be somewhere . I still had things to do: beads to ship, rubber stamp orders that have been piling up for weeks. Instead of doing what I should, I hung out in my pjs, drank a second cuppa, snoozed, made lunch, slept hard, hiked hard and got my tomatoes in the ground after dark.

This last week has been particularly emotional and grueling. I've been working a lot and feeling a bit lost without those boys I got to teach for 22 days. I got to see them yesterday after a week away. I got a hug from all of them. Made my day! But being back on a single track teaching gig has my head spinning. Last week I taught TK (4-5 year olds)... my hugger was also a puker that day! Next was 6th grade. Then it was 10th grade math, followed by psychology and American history for 12th grade - Where the prof had the audacity to call Elvis the "supposed King of Rock and Roll!" SUPPOSED??? WTH??? He didn't give himself the name like the supposed King of Pop did! That our society has regressed so far that Elvis has become the supposed King makes me sit here shaking my head wondering about the future of the planet.

Two people I know passed away last week. One was an Internet friend but a political blogger I've read for years who had lots of real life ties to people I know. We had become friends on Facebook a few months ago after his mom passed away and... I so wanted to meet him someday. I find it sadly ironic he died after seeing the dentist. The other was someone from real life that I haven't gotten to see much in recent years. Surgical procedure / complications / blood clots / heart failure / life support. Each update was sadder than the last. And one of my California family is battling cancer. That my sister adored him (and Mom too) makes it that much sadder. My mom asks for updates daily as if some miracle is bound to happen...making me ache that there is nothing new or good to tell her.

I tell you all this to explain...I'm just tired, exhausted and wonder if the world is ever going to feel normal (better??) ever again.

 All is not dark and sad or tired. This girl brings me great joy every day! Look at her playing with a new toy a friend sent her:

I hope we'll get back into our blogging routine soon...

*apologies to Jewel for the title.