Do I Really Have to Do This AGAIN?

Mabel Lou here.

I have something most serious to discuss. Once before, I sought out candidates for my Mom's #1 job... Taking care of me! My Mom is falling down on the job AGAIN!

Ruby: Oh jeez, Mabel! Whadshedo??? Forget where to leave your EXACTLY THREE pieces of kibble on which bed? Oh the DRAMA!


Now I admit, if you read the list of my job requirements for a Mom, I DO sound kinda high maintenance but...

Ruby: Kinda??? Pft!

..it's not easy maintaining a titled position such as mine! Not everyone can be the Queen Bitch of Everything. But royalty is my lot in life and I cope with it as best I can.

Bart: Oy Mabel Lou... Your Mom is pawsome! She gives great ear scritches and belly rubs and cuddles! 

I know my present Mom "sounds" good on paper. She does do a lot for me and she's even recently taken a job she probably would never have taken just because it allows her to be home during daylight hours to walk me at the creek. She claims she misses her old film industry 18 hour a day jobs and the beaucoup bucks she made but feels she owes it to me to maintain my creek hiking needs.

Bart: So whadshedo??? Take one of those long hour jobs???

No, not that... she's home at a reasonable hour. And I nap on the sofa with my fans on while she's gone.

Otto: Well I know she still gets you out to the creek...we hiked together just two days ago... 

Ruby: We haven't been going to breakfast... Are you mad about that??? I thought you just had company... Is it lack of BACON??? Now, we might have to have a meeting and straighten your mom out if it's lack of bacon!

No... it's not just bacon... My doc says my mom is not feeding me enough food! I'm underweight!

{Laughter ensues.... and continues}

Stop laughing.......... STOP LAUGHING!! You do not laugh at the QBoE!!!!

Barticus Farticus: (still laughing) Mabel, I know ya Granny was just here... I KNOW she brought ya a ham... My mom even took a picture:

L@@k atcha practically licking ya granny's plate...biscuits and Salmon. The only kind of salmon I get is when I steal a can and bury it... That can's not very tasty. But you! You get cooked salmon AND biscuits and ya say ya Mom isn't feeding you enough??  REALLY??

REALLY! My doc said so... I'm losing weight ever since Mom cut my food back a few years ago when I topped out at 103. Now, I'm down to a paltry 83! My doc wants me to weigh 87 - 89. And it's MOM'S FAULT! SHE HAS TO GO!

Barticus Farticus:  But Mabel! Dats the easiest fix in the world! It's not like our pal Chloe who needs to lose 20 pounds. DOH!

Ruby: You don't need to find a new mom for that! 

Otto: Yeah and who else would do all your mom does for you for a sliver of the of the bed? Even I give my pawrents more room than that!

She's gets kisses too!...sometimes. Being with me should be worth all the work it takes to maintain me!

Bart: But your Mom loves you! You would break her heart if you fired her! 

Ruby: Oh Gawd! I can hear the crying on our walkies now! You CAN'T do this to her Mabel Lou!

Otto: Seriously old girl..

WATCH IT OTTO!

Otto: Mabel, no disrespect but, you would miss your mom! Nobody's gonna love you like she does! And you will never love anyone like you love her... and I KNOW you love her!

Barticus Farticus: Cantcha just have the vet tell her to feed ya more? 

Well I guess I would be better off keeping her... Good help is so hard to train!