Lost

You're probably wondering if I've disappeared again... and I admit I have not been great about posting. I thought Maizy's talking skills would give me oodles to talk about...but she's slow learner and not talkative. And that's OK. But I feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world. I've lost the only job I ever loved!

 

I realize most of you probably have no idea what I've been up to. I lost my high school teaching job due to COVID. They wanted to return all their teacher specialists to the classrooms (which no longer existed). I worked so much harder during those first months of COVID, trying desperately to engage the disengaged teenagers...it was exhausting. Still, I managed to realize two of my favorite kiddos were suicidal and get them help... all while working over zoom and google classroom. 

But when it was over, I really didn't care! I made feeble attempts at looking for another teaching position but, something inside me told me it would not be a safe environment for me. Not with COVID out there. I am diabetic and not at my ideal weight; I have asthma. And I never knew if I would have to dash off to Louisiana to see about Mom. I was terrified of her dying of that crap! It didn't help that a sorority sister of mine died from it the second week we were on lock-down. (I've since lost an older hiking buddy to it as well.) 

By late summer, I knew I needed a better plan. I started thinking about the pandemic and realized contact tracing was an "at home" job. So I started applying and got hired... terrified I had to drive to West L.A. to fill out paperwork in some office! But, while there, they sized me up as "leadership material" and I found myself a middle management job leading a team of contact tracers in the ever-changing world of pandemic driven public health. 

It was a 3 month job I started in September of 2020. I thought by January of 2021, I'd take a midyear sub job and return to teaching "when COVID is over."  I'll wait while you finish laughing................

That December, my contract was bought out by a company with longer term ties to public health...same job, different employer of record. That contact was for a few months, then a year, then 10 more months. It was supposed to end in October. But with the surge we are in now and the one predicted this winter... with our superintendent of schools not requiring vaccines for children until next fall (!!!!!!)... with Monkey pox, AIDS, hepatitis flares.... and every health agency I meet with saying that contact tracing needs to be a permanent part of public health...I fully expected the contract to be extended again (and again. )

But three weeks ago, I woke up in a panic attack. I was freaking out about finding a new job in a new career at my age! I just assumed I was thinking of October. In truth, my Pisces spidey senses were being triggered. A week ago, as our work week started there was suddenly a company wide meeting. And I knew... My employees tried to stay so positive. It was announced a 50% work force reduction was coming. I met with my team and told them any of us could go...it could be me. They scoffed. I fill in for my boss when she's out. They thought that somehow made me immune. The next day, when the letters were to come out, I was headed to oral surgery. My boss sent me lovely text...something she's never done in the three previous oral surgeries I've had since working there. And I knew for certain, I was on the list. I had my letter right after surgery was over. Every one in my position in my division was cut. All but one of contact tracers was cut. 

This is all happening due to the loss of federal funding. The Repulican'ts won't pass the COVID bill...sigh. 

It's weird...I've never MET these people. But I love them! And I love my job! That's something I've never said in 44 years of work. I have felt valued and appreciated. I know my team has saved lives. It's been such a great ride! 

And here I am, starting over again and no idea where to go.