Facebook Community Standards and the Southern Vernacular

 I was kicked of Facebook twice in recent months. It would seem they think I'm a violent person. I'll wait while you laugh...

 But what the real problem is comes down to Facebook Community Standards lack of understanding the Southern vernacular. The things I said are harmless in the Southern Vernacular but "Bless Your Heart" is deadly on the tongue of a wicked woman.

Here's what went down: 

Scenario 1 - last fall: My cousin posted a video of fake snakes dropping from trees over inner tubers. 

There is nothing I find more terrifying to me than snakes and this joke is particularly upsetting to me. I still remember when I was about 12 and a king snake (not that I stopped to notice his pedigree) fell into our boat on Dixie Springs Lake in Summit, Mississippi. It was mere moments later when I decided I could walk on water. My poor step dad was wrestling a snake with one hand and holding on to the waistband of my jeans with the other! Needless to say, this joke is a worst nightmare for me.

So I commented on my cousin's post, "I would have to kill somebody!" 

Which, if you know Southern vernacular, I doesn't mean I want to harm anyone. It simply means, I gonna get you back for that...probably with an equally horrible joke!

What Facebook doesn't know is my cousin is cop and mandated reporter. If she thought I was a threat to anyone, or myself, she would have done something. She laughed at my comment and my suspension.

Within seconds of that post, Facebook has already made my post invisible and sent a message that I had violated community standards. OK... I'll remove it. But NOOOOooo. I can't even see the post again! What a stupid way to deal with that! But life goes on...

Scenario 2 Late January- A sorority sister who is outspoken and has sass for days posted a meme to the effect of "I don't need a vaccine. I've got the "Freedom Virus!""   Minutes before, my mom's nursing home had called to inform me of her Covid positive test. I was livid. I thought my mom had received her 3rd shot last fall, but no, she had not. It had only recently been approved in Mississippi (months after the CDC approved it!).

I also am shocked that workers in nursing homes are not required to be vaccinated. Visitors are not required to be vaccinated. I find that appalling! I was hurt, worried and angry.

I replied to the post with: "Just found out my 98yo mom has covid. I guess I'm going to have to kidnap her across state lines to get her properly vaccinated!" 

Which, if you know Southern vernacular, "kidnap" is as common as a birthday party! I actually did kidnap my college friend to take him to his surprise birthday party....blindfold and restraints were used! But we also were making no effort to hide our voices and lit his cigarettes for him. He wasn't scared at all! 

But it's nothing to say, "I'm just gonna kidnap you and go have lunch and mani pedis one day!" 

I was immediately "banned" from Facebook for 2 days. Ok. That's fine. But I am a scarred and wrecked individual who has had to deal with rejection my whole life. If you don't want me...I don't want you for longer! So I decide Facebook gets a 3 x ban. I would go for 8 days. As FB lost over $200 BILLION while I was gone, I willingly accept full credit for that! LOL!

What Facebook doesn't know is that thread was full of other sorority sisters who know I have power of attorney over my mother and it's MY business where I take her and if I choose to get her properly vaccinated.  

While I was off Facebook, I started on all the taxes: mine, the business, Mom's. It went quick. I didn't miss it. But 8 days later I was back on for 1/2 a day when "Facebook Community Standards had reviewed my account" and saw that first post and decided I needed a time out for 2 weeks for "repeated violations." My posts would be visible on my wall but would get "pushed down" in the feeds of my friends. 

So...2 weeks for me and 6 weeks for Facebook. I've been off for two months and I honestly haven't missed it! I don't miss "doom-scrolling" for hours on the weekends. My birthday came and went and instead of the uncomfortable bombardment of messages, I had the peace and quiet I crave with only a few calls from my closest friends. I realized the illusion that I have so many "friends" ...is just that. 

I have found I really enjoy actually watching some things on the telly...instead of ignoring it while I scroll on Facebook. I actually love doing Sudoko and Mah Jong puzzles on my ipad. I've taking drawing classes on Youtube. I've made some jewelry for the first time in years! I've enjoyed just sitting on my porch and watching the birds at sunset. 

I've realized what a time suck Facebook is... and a not very pleasant one! There are some pages I miss.  I really love the local Buy Nothing group. The generosity of my neighbors astounds me and I miss the free produce I got there. My favorite gift was the couple who bought a huge wedding cake to celebrate their son's elopement with a few family members. They gave away slices of wedding cake to everyone in town! (Pre-pandemic!) I also really love the Schitt's Creek group...happiest show on television = happy people on Facebook! I miss seeing the baby pictures of all the kids in the family too. I also started following my favorite talking dogs on TikTok and Youtube. (Maizy is getting buttons for her own AAC device! Stay tuned!)

I also learned how much I miss only sharing on Facebook. You rely on random "memories" to pop up and you can't search your own wall.  I ran across a story about Macy Blue that made my heart sing. And it made me angry that I had forgotten about it and that I never shared stories HERE where I could find them again! 

Macy was playing with a toy on the sofa. I took it. She got up and got another toy. I took it too. Unfazed, she got up and got another toy from the toybox. I took it as well. I was thinking she would engage in play with me or take them back...like Mabel would have. Instead she lay there looking at me for a moment and then, with her paw, raked the tv remote close to her and placed her paw on top of it. "Yeah lady! You take my stuff, I'm gonna take yours!" 

Stories like that should not be wasted on "Crapbook!"

I need some rules: I'm going to try 20 minutes total and NEVER on weekend if and when I'm ready to go back.  

Unless Facebook learns the vernacular of our different regions - which, why would they? Unless, they allow people to edit or delete when the violate some standard, they are going to continue to loose viewer hours and visits. It certainly doesn't instill a feeling of goodwill. People are always looking for the next fun thing. Bless your heart, Facebook. Bless your heart.