Breaking My Heart

As I left for work yesterday morning, my girl's pouty face just broke my heart. Her sad eyes wondering how I could leave her / why she couldn't go with me seemed to send daggers into my chest.

She watched me back out of the driveway, slowly walking toward the car. I shut the gate, backed into the street and waited. I could see her little feet under the gate, waiting to see if I was really leaving. I sat there idling, waiting to see if she would give up and go inside. Knowing this was a battle of wills that I would lose, I drove away.

All the way to work, I wondered, if it's this hard for me, how to people with human kids do this every day???

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Music to My Ears

I was in the pet store with Kat the other day, holding her hand through her Chihuahua pup's first ever professional bath. While stashing my shopping cart to check on Twinkie, I noticed a most disturbing product: Tag silencers.

Why? Why? Why would anyone want such a thing??? Is the sound of their own dog so annoying??

Since then, I've thought about the sound of Mabel's tags so often. They are the sound of my girl, my life. I can tell so many things by the rhythm of those two bits of metal clanking together.

I know where she is the creek. I can tell if she is on the prowl, giving chase or just lollygagging by the sound of her tags. I also know that I am not alone in that vast wilderness. That somewhere within earshot is my cohort in crime.

I love the muted sound they make underwater when she is taking a dip.

At home, there are other sounds. While she is asleep, they sometimes make a spacey little tink every now and again. Or if she is dreaming, the sounds come faster.

I can tell when she is digging a hole in the backyard. There are other rhythms for chasing squirrels, pilfering for food, anxious pacing for a door to be opened.

Then, there are the times she wakes from a nap and goes looking for me. Mabel never thinks to check the office first. I can hear her strolling through the house and out to the shop. When she doesn't find me there, the tinkling of her tags is faster coming back. If she makes a second round trip, the tags have a panic sound that make me stop what I'm doing and call out to her, "Mamma's here babe!"

There are also times when they are completely quiet and I know she's up to no good.

That little tinkling of her collar is so vital to my very existence, I simply cannot imagine life without it. My first two dogs, both in rescue for over a year, felt naked without their collar and tags - or as we call them in this house - their "jewelry." Poor Maggie May would get so distraught when I took her jewelry off to wash it, she would wait under the clothesline for it to dry!

And when those girls died, it was their collars, that gentle tinkling, that haunted me day and night. I would wake, certain I had heard it. Even wide awake, I would "hear" it in some distant room and go racing, looking for them.

Why would anyone want to silence all that?

Now, you'll have to excuse me. Someone is anxiously pacing by the back door.


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Jilted

I feel like a scorned lover this week... you left me without so much as a goodbye.

Just the other day, your warm breath whispered in my ear promises of warm sunny days and flowers. You caressed my arm and made me so grateful for the cool waters in our creek. When you were here, laughter and joy filled my soul. The very thought of you made me so hopeful for the future.

But now, you've disappeared and I am cold and alone. As always, my dark thoughts fill my head with the certainty that you never cared for me and will never come back--no matter what common sense tells me. Are you somewhere else, sharing your warmth and beauty with another? I am certain of it!

Oh Spring...you are a fickle lover indeed.



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Creekhiker's Dyslexic Dictionary - Word of the Day

Perildise -

Main Entry:

per·il·dise

Pronunciation:

\ˈper-əlˌdīs, -ˌdīz,

Function:

noun

Definition:

When paradise turns dangerous.

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Is it Animal Cruelty...

...to "make" the dog play tug of war only because it puts my tired, aching back in the most perfect, pain relieving stretch ever? If it is, please, don't turn me in!

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