Mabel & Bessie

I know I mentioned car trouble a few posts back. Well, ol' Bessie (all cars in my family are named Bessie) has been in and out of the shop for a week now. And after $1200.00 in repairs (new catalytic converter, intake air valve thingy and new (from the Jeep junkyard) on board computer), she's purring like a kitten.

I picked her up from the shop today, took her up our one major road and brought her home.

Mabel was so happy, she actually kissed the car! Repeatedly. She was not a happy camper in the rentals... there was no seat for her. I think she missed Bessie more than I did.

I'm reposting the old photo of Mabel sitting on her seat:



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Creekhiker + 1 Old Friend = Lots of Stupid

Well, I dropped my college roommate off at LAX this morning in prime "rush" hour traffic. As I sat on the freeway headed home, I pondered the 21 years since we lived together.

Some things have changed: we're both older and a little worse for the wear. Some things havn't: I can still get ready in a fraction of the time it takes her to do whatever it is she does to go ... anywhere. She couldn't even go out to my little dive of a neighborhood breakfast joint to sit on a picnic bench in the damp morning air without curling her hair.

We still talk to each other in silly voices and we still laugh a lot. My best friend Barb tells me I haven't looked so happy in years. It was a great visit and I'm amazed at all the stupid things I've done this past week! A few of the highlights:

I forgot to feed Mabel! The first morning my guest was here, I got up early to head to the creek. She was awake when we came home and we got busy and left. Poor Mabel! After that, my friend made it her job to feed Mabel. Needless to say, Mabel is pouting now that her new friend is gone.
My car died mid trip in spite of me putting her in the shop for a tuneup two weeks ago. The catalytic converter had gone bad. Knowing I had to get my friend to San Diego for her high school reunion, I needed a car. Just goofing around, I went on Priceline and offered a stupid amount of money for a couple of days, certain we would not get a car. We did. Only we needed the car longer than that... which meant we had to trade rental cars and juggle things a bit, which was frustrating.

In the turmoil of getting my friend to the airport this morning, getting the rental back on time, I had her take my gas card for Costco out of my purse and I placed it under my thigh. I do this as I'm about to buy gas to save time. Only, we were going to the airport first and I was wearing shorts. Yep, the card stuck to my thigh and dropped somewhere on the pavement outside Terminal 5. So I had to come home and cancel my credit card.

And the dumbest thing of all - I got my first burn on the torch! My friend wanted me to make her some beads - I made one of my prettiest hearts ever for her. I had pulled a green rod to make her a Christmas light. I stuck the thing in the flame and something caught my eye. I have a coding system that I mark on my rods to know what kind of glass they are and realized my numbers were in the flame. I quickly turned the rod around and stuck the other end in the flame, melted the glass and started my bead. As I went to lay the rod down, my hand was at an awkward angle. The way I remedy this is I stick the rod under my arm, rearrange my hand and then lay the rod down. Yep... I have a burn in my armpit! To make matters worse, it was the first time ever I wore a tank top while working!

I was really cool about it... after I threw the rod across the table. I kept my bead in the flame, grabbed a handful of ice from my water cup and shoved it in my armpit. I didn't even look at it til after I finished the bead!

Since my friend in on her way back to Mississippi, maybe my mental faculties will soon return. Let's hope...

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UPDATED: Am I the Only One...

... who hates their dog? I do love Mabel. But there are times, like tonight, when I hate her. I really hate her. And I can actually see my life without her.

And I hate myself for feeling this way. It brings up so many bad memories of her first year with me. Her pounding the back doors in the middle of the night, startling me awake from a dead sleep, to go chase a critter; her insistence of sleeping with me; her running off and leaving me while hiking; the way she turns to acknowledge my "NO," squints, turns her head in the direction she wants to go and bolts.

What has me feeling this way is not one but two kitty incidents. Mabel has a high prey drive. And she wants to eat cats. I keep waiting for her to have an encounter with a cat that will beat her up a bit.... no such luck.



This is an overview of where we hike daily. The purple arrow is where we park (it got a little fuzzy when sizing). The main creek is below that long line that runs across the top of the photo... the line is the levy. As the creek is dry this time of year, we settle for the urban runoff. You can see the channel from dead center bottom. It curves up and left. There is an area full of eucalyptus and poplar trees where the water forms a pond before moving on.

Normally, we park and turn left behind the big overbuilt Mcmansions. Shortly before the white arrow is a house / dog I love to visit with. A gorgeous yellow lab I call Summer Sunshine. This dog seems very lonely and I know she looks forward to my visits with her.

We then circle behind the houses, head back toward the big creek and end up in the runoff to let Mabel cool down before going home. We often do variations depending on how good my feet feel but these are the highlights.

A few weeks back, Mabel discovered the house with the white arrow has kittens in their back yard - actually the side of their house. As their yard is well fenced, I would visit with Summer Sunshine while Mabel whined and scratched outside the kitty fence. I would call her and we would be on our way.

Two days ago, Mabel discovered a ditch that runs behind their yard. She shimmied under the fence over the ditch - it doesn't go all the way down to allow for flooding. Again as there was a fence around their yard, I wasn't really worried. She got bored and came to me eventually.

Yesterday, we ran into a fellow rottie owner and one of her dogs we haven't seen in months as he was nursing a snakebite. We played with him for a bit and ran into our regular pack.
The four dogs played and ran. It was hot and we thought they were all exhausted. We hiked with the Ridgies back to our cars and Mabel bolted. I was shocked she left her friends.

They left, I got her leash and hiked over to the house. She had shimmied under the fenced ditch and was sizing up their back fence... which had fallen and was replaced with deer fencing. Within a heartbeat, she was in their yard!

I couldn't get over the side fence or under the ditch fence. I raced back to the car and drove around. I didn't realize at the time that there were two additional cul-de-sacs. I went to the first one and tried to get in the back yard before realizing I was in the wrong place... repeated that in a second cul-de-sac before finding the right one.

The homeowner was a little afraid of Mabel and was in the side yard watching the fiasco. I asked him to turn on his hose. The kittens had taken refuge on top of a grape arbor over a barbeque. Mabel was on top of their grill, leaping at the kittens!

I chased her with a hose for a good 10 minutes before she came to me. I couldn't believe how laid back the guy was..."It's OK. Don't worry about it." I would have read the riot act to someone if those had been my kittens!

Tonight we have our regular hike with our pack. I kept her on leash well past the kitten house, much to the dismay of our friends. I let her go as we were heading into open land... right near Melvin's house. Turns out, Melvin's parents have a cat!

I heard Mabel jumping and scratching on their door. I ran as fast as my pitiful feet would carry me. I squirted her with my water bottle and finally got her leashed up, knocking over a ton of patio furniture in the process. It still took me a good five minutes to drag her off their porch and back into the creek.

By the time we got back to the pack, I was limping... my foot had just started to feel better. My back was aching and I was furious. The whole reason I take Mabel to the creek is to allow her to roam at her own pace and not be pulling me and my terrible feet / back. I'm starting to feel too old for my dog. And after two days of this crap, I don't care if I ever walk her again.

Just when I thought she was maturing and listening, she pulls this. Do I have to wait til she's a senior citizen to enjoy my walks with her?

UPDATE: I called Kat... I had given her a shock collar for her dog. It was one I bought for Mabel and she mysteriously turned into the best good girl before I even took the thing out of the box! Kat found the collar and brought it over. Mabel wore it out with the pack tonight. I only used the buzzer (noise only) three times. I used it to correct her running away once and rough housing Sue twice. She was amazingly well behaved and disliked the noise very much.

And... Mabel had another breakthrough tonight. We've been trying for months to teach her to drink from a water bottle like Hank & Sue and tonight she finally got it! She even came up to me and tapped my bottle with her nose! So, she's back in the nook for now.
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Wisdom of Age

It's strange - the wisdom that comes with age. Things that we could not see clearly when we were young are suddenly crystal clear when looking back with a little life experience behind us.

I was cleaning frantically the other day, trying to tidy my messy life for a visit from my college roommate (the nurse I wrote of at Christmas time). She has never been to visit me here in California and I talked her into leaving her 17 year old daughter behind and make the trip for a little "me time" for herself.

The fact that I'm cleaning for her is exceptionally funny. She's the one who taught me to be a mess! She was a diplomat's daughter, growing up in exotic locales like Egypt and the Philippines - but much more suited to small town Mississippi. Her only duties as a child were to make her bed (something I never did) and place her neatly folded pajamas underneath her pillow. She never had to pick anything up, put it away or dust it. After fighting her clutter semester after semester in college, she won me over.

To this day you will find my bed made and my nightie under my pillow. And nothing else in it's place. That being said, my house cannot look like my house with company coming. And while cleaning off the bookshelf to get rid of some of the many books I've already read or ones that were given to me and I know I will never read (try as I might, I simply cannot even read a sentence or two of books such as "Wealth without Risk" or "Securing your Financial Future." I will always be poor because I fall asleep reading these things...Hmm... maybe I should have kept one by my bed for my insomnia).

In the course of filling three huge boxes with books, I found my high school diploma. For a girl who feels so overwhelmed by stuff, why am I still lugging this thing around? It's not like I need it to prove anything.

I remember being so proud of my gold seal for my years in the Forensic Society. I didn't get the second seal reserved for 4.0 students. I was a great student and have one of the highest i.q.s in my school but for the life of me, I couldn't get decent grades in the secretarial courses my mother forced me to take.

"You might want to be a secretary someday. You'll be so glad you know how to type."

"Mom, I'm going to have a secretary, not be one."

In the end, we were both right. I had a secretary. I'm also glad I know how to type. But that skill came from my interest in computer geekdom, NOT just wanting to know how to type.



I called my best friend and asked for permission to throw it away. It felt good... but I had to dig it out to scan the thing for the blog. Now it's back in the trash and come Monday, it'll be in an L.A. landfill, no longer one more piece of clutter. What it represents, I will always have with me. Letting go is good.



The other bit of wisdom has to do with looks. Every woman I know is so hard on herself looks-wise. I have always felt like the most hideous woman - certain it was my strange looks that were to blame for my lack of a boyfriend. To complicate matters, I've always had really pretty friends.

I could name a litany of reasons I look strange: red hair, curly hair that would get to my shoulders and get wider instead of longer, freckles, stocky body, too short, lips too thin, legs too muscular, feet too small, hands too thick... you name it, I've hated it.

While cleaning, I ran across a mini wedding album from former bosses' wedding. We were close friends for 10 years. 2001 was a crisis year for me... many things happened and I was exceptionally busy. She sent me an email to tell me all the things I didn't do for her - stupid stuff like missing her toddler's birthday party. I tossed the album in the trash pile.

Later, while picking up, I noticed this photo and started flipping through the album. I was so insecure at that wedding. All the blond bridesmaids and me... the silly redhead. I felt so ugly next these blonds.

But looking back, damn, I look good. I am not a vain person but I think I'm the cutest girl there. Why couldn't I appreciate that? Why couldn't I have been a little gentler with myself? Why couldn't I just be a little kinder to myself now? Just accept myself as I am?

I could... but I don't look like that anymore.

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Free Fall

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I startled two hawks
from the cottonwood trees.

Away they flew.
Away from me.

I watched them soaring
I admired their dance.

They fly so high
and spin down, down.

Flapping wildly
then falling free.

I am them;
they are me.

I am beside them,
up, up in the air.

For just one moment,
I know their rapture.

My dog brushes my leg.
My reverie is gone.

But the hawks, still there.
I shake off my dream.

I will find them again
and soar high, we shall.