It All Comes to a Grinding Halt

Well, I had expected life to come to grinding halt tomorrow...when I was supposed to have surgery on my torn labrum in my shoulder. Instead, it went into some kind of limbo halt on Friday.  Black Friday was an ocean day for us... a last chance to run and breathe and play before surgery and Christmas and company.

These photos of Macy Blue - bringing three running dogs and three trotting humans to a complete halt feel a lot like my life right now!  But sometimes, distractions happen!

 

Yes, you can be trotting along having fun - or frantically cleaning your artsy fartsy house before you won't be able to - when something distracts you. Or your doctor. 

 When that happens, there's nothing you can do but go with it! Good friends can't really help much. They have to stand back and let you do what you gotta do!

Even if it takes a while... 

A long while. Sometimes, you just have to wait... and wait. 

And maybe even wait some more... My doc has his reasons for cancelling and I understand. And we just couldn't reschedule over a holiday weekend...sigh.

I haven't been reading blogs...so sorry. Housecleaning is exhausting with one overworked good arm and one painfully decorative arm! And the time change still has me loopy...wanting bed at 7 pm and up at 3! I imagine we'll catch up after surgery...whenever that is!

She Who Must Be Punished

After those Debbie Downer posts...how about a happy?? Yes I know it's about canine damage...but I actually see this as sweet!

Macy's biggest quirk is this:

Yes, she eats my glasses...well, more like chews them up and spits them out! I always make sure I find all the pieces parts. Although in the beginning, I was feeding her lots of soft bread when I couldn't find all the parts in the grass.

She does this to the glasses I hide in the sofa. (I'm of the age where they are a sudden necessity and they are "hidden" in every room of the house!) But she curls up on the sofa when I leave and hunts for them. So now I leave them in the chair next to the sofa. We haven't had an episode for weeks until I went out to torch and make beads and carelessly left them on the sofa because I was home.

I know she does this because of anxiety at being left and the glasses smell like me. I must be punished for leaving her all alone in a big house with many dogs beds and sofas with warm blankets, right?

The other night, the bestie called and wanted me to join her on a shopping trip to a new witchy shop - they have the best pure oils for fragrance that those of us with perfume sensitivities can actually tolerate. Macy Blue and I were finishing a hike so we went straight to the bestie's house. I had to go to the bathroom so I ran inside while the bestie got settled in my car with her travel beverages.

She reported that Macy cried the entire time I was in the house! Even though her auntie was offering pets and scritches, Macy only wanted me. Now, Miss Mabel Lou would have milked scritches out of any available human! But not my little Blue girl! She wants her momma!

And as for the 10 pair of glasses that have died a toothsome death since June... I have a common prescription and I buy them at the dollar store...four pair at a time!

If Not for Bad Luck

You know, I stole a line from Velvet several years ago (2009)...summing up a year as "spectacular for its suckitude."And I've labeled nearly every year since as such.  It has been a bloody horrible run of suckitude!

• 2009 - Economic downturn and financial woes, Station Fire, loss of our trails in the rains that followed.  I posted on the very same day that I longed for better days. 
• 2010 - a spider nearly killed me and a 23 year friendship bit the dust and the pain still reverberates -  even though I know I'm better off without someone who simply doesn't value me and is so comfortable lying. 
• 2011 - My dear sister started her third and final battle with cancer. 
• 2012 - More trips back home to be with my sister. By the holidays, we knew her battle was almost over. 
• 2013 - My sister passed and I spent the year adjusting to her loss...still am really. I got mad at myself just the other day for not calling her in so long! 
• 2014 - Mabel died way too quickly.  Torn labrum and impending surgery on my shoulder. A new career teaching... I don't love it  but I don't hate it any more - most days.  Oh, and a fire! Or two! 

I've already told you about the local bakery that burned. I can't tell you loss I felt...from losing a selling venue to no where for a quick outing with friends.  As I've watched the building sitting there all burnt and sad, I've thought a lot about the loss from a fire. But that didn't mean I wanted to experience it first hand...

Almost two weeks ago, the tenants that live in my townhouse - my first home of my own - called to tell me it was on fire! We think it started in their dryer... clean your lint filters people! Luckily, it was confined to the garage.

And to add insult to injury, neither of us have insurance. I had to make some rough choices back in '09... health insurance or my interior townhouse policy. I chose health knowing it was a  calculated gamble. My homeowner's association has an exterior policy that will return the home to four walls and a roof. The rest is up to me. But I'm on the hook for the ginormous deductible... about 1/3 of my last year's below poverty wages!  OY! Some part of me is so scared, I don't know what to do. And some part of me knows there is nothing to do...yet.

 

I just know that I am fed up with negative. I'm tired of dealing with BS. Negative people exhaust me (and I have one I must talk to every single day). I am going to focus on the positive if it kills me! Oddly enough the things I have to pay for in my own unit were on my to-do list anyway: the water heater was old, the laundry cabinets were saggy, the patio door didn't close. The only extra is a garage door opener. Not too bad...

Maybe this gets my perpetually late renters out of my house. Maybe this is about shutting one door to open another. Maybe it's to teach me to never gamble with insurance.  I don't know... but I will rise from these ashes!

Bright Spots in the Darkest Days

The day after Mabel died, I was booked to teach. Despite being a complete and utter mess, I kept the gig... I had a ginormous vet bill and what good would sitting home do?

I was teaching in the better school district, where the parents are often very well paid professionals and have certain expectations of how their children should behave.  This often makes teaching there a dream compared to the "hazard pay" district. But apparently all bets are off right before school is out.

I was teaching a junior math class and as I was handing out the class work I noticed a sandwich on the floor. I found the kid it belonged to and the kid he was throwing his food at and had them clean it up. As class went on, I kept hearing a strange noise behind me but as I was occupied with the school's new fangled attendance system on the computer, I never gave it much thought.  At the end of class, it was much louder. And suddenly, I realized the naughty boys had been throwing food at me the entire class and as they left the room they lobbed the remainder of the sandwich at me.

I wrote them up... the only time I've ever done that in this district... and the school sent someone to take pictures and clean up the mess.  I was on the verge of tears as the next class began. I gave them their assignment and spent the rest of the class biting my lip to keep it together. By the last class, word had spread through campus. A senior asked if he could leave for some reason and I let him. He was gone a long time. When he showed back up, just before class was out, he returned with a box full of smoothies from the local Jamba Juice and insisted I get first pick, because he had heard I'd had a bad day. 

His kindness lifted my spirits but I knew I had no reason to hurry home and was growing sadder and feeling so sorry for myself.  The day ended and I went to the office to sign out and saw him:

He was a therapy dog. I don't know why he was there...I've never seen him since. The school secretary told me to give him a hug... and I dove to the floor and just rolled around with him...not caring one bit that my employers might be looking. As I hugged him, I started to sob. And he started to lick my tears away.

Concerned, his handler came over to apologize and correct him. "He's trained not to do that."  Only when I looked up at her did she see my tears.  I could barely whisper, "My dog died yesterday." She backed away and left me with him. I cried and cried until there were no more tears and then we played and played.

I don't know where this angel came from but I'm forever grateful our paths crossed that day.

Snack Time

Hey Momma, I'm certain it's snack time!