Sissy 's Promise

Carmon's comments on last night's post gave me the idea to tell you about the last time I saw my aunt.

My Aunt Louise was my other mother. She was not judgmental and always listened and simply adored me. She never had kids of her own but managed to have three nieces that she mothered... all of us were about 10 years apart in age and felt blessed by her presence in our lives.

Louise was the only girl of six kids and, as is typical in Southern families, was called "Sister" by her whole family and even my cousins. When I was born, my older sister, who was 22, had always wanted a baby sister to call her "Sister." After I was a year or so old, I couldn't quite work out how there could be two people named "Sister" so I re-christened my aunt "Sissy."

In December 2000, my aunt was not doing well. Her husband had died and my cousins put her in a nursing home. When I drove up from my mother's in Baton Rouge, I found that she had worsened and was in the hospital.

I go to her room; she's not there. I find her at the nurse's station, flirting. This would become one of the strangest visits we ever had.

One minute, Sissy was lucid: "Child, hand me my lipstick... that orderly is CUTE!"

The next she was reliving a traumatic time from my infancy. My father (Sissy's little brother) had a heart attack when I was six months old and was demanding someone bring me to him but the hospital had rules. Seeing me must have brought this memory back and she was rambling on and on: "I swear I didn't bring the baby. Tell them it wasn't me!"

She was back and forth like this all night. They brought her food and she could barely feed herself. So I took over. Afterwards, I was cleaning her up and she was back.

"Honey, I'm not long for this world...no, don't interrupt me. My time is coming and I'm O.K. with that. I miss your Uncle Henry and I really want to see him. And I want to see Jesus. But, you're my baby. I need you to be O.K. with it."

I fought back tears. "When it's your time, you just go. I'll be O.K."

We sat there holding hands for a minute and I got an idea.

"Sissy, would you do me a favor when your time comes?"

"Of course, honey. You name it!"

"Come see me! Come see my new house! I've always wanted you to visit me in California...please say you will."

Her eyes showed her confusion wondering how her feeble body could make the flight and then I saw the twinkle of recognition. She knew full well what I meant. She started nodding her head yes.

"All right, I will. If it's possible, I promise I will be there."

Visiting hours were over and I walked the hike to my car in the Mississippi sleet simply numb. I knew I would never see Sissy again.

I drove the few blocks to her house. My cousins had cleaned everything out. The only thing left was a plaque on the door - a little bit of cross stitch someone at church had given Sissy. It read, "Bless this House and All Who Enter." I took it and when I returned to California, I hung it inside, over my front door.

Sissy recovered and went back to the nursing home. She lasted another eleven months when we talked, I never said another word about her promise.

One night in November 2001, I was awakened by my doorbell... it was really annoying. Ding Dong, Ding Dong, Ding Dong, Ding Dong, Ding Dong nonstop. I glanced at the clock: 3 a.m.

I ran to my door and opened it. There is stunning, bright, golden light stood my Sissy. Only she was young...younger than I had ever known her. She was about 24 and dressed to the nines as was her style. The manicure, the coiffure, the high heels and clothes were all high fashion and immaculate. And oddly enough, I could "feel" my Uncle behind her.

"You came! Come in, come in!"

She never spoke but seemed to communicate without words. She took a few steps into my house and turned, looked up and over her shoulder at my - her - plaque. I hung my head in shame at having stolen from her. She took my chin in her hand and just shook her head. I knew it didn't matter.

The three of us visited for about three hours and were in my garden having tea and looking at pictures, when my phone started to ring. I excused myself and said, "I'll be right back."

I dashed through the living room door and reached for the phone, only I was back in bed and reaching for the phone on the nightstand. Confused, I looked at the clock. 6 a.m.

It was my cousin. My heart sank.

"I've been waiting for it to be late enough to call you. Sister passed away three hours ago."

We talked for a bit but I couldn't get off the phone fast enough to run out to the garden. Gone was the bright light that had bathed us just minutes before, replaced by a grey California dawn. Sissy and my uncle were gone too.

And while this visit only reinforced other things I have seen regarding the hereafter, it made me feel so special. Sissy had been the glue in her family. She loved everyone so much. But it was me she came to see, even before Jesus! How many are lucky enough to have someone love us so much, they would cross time and space and 3000 miles just to keep a promise?

Happy Half Birthday Daddy

Happy Half Birthday Daddy! Today, you would have been 97 and a half... and this afternoon is the 40th anniversary of your death.

This day and the weeks leading up to it have been torture for me for 38 of those 40 years. I thought I was over it two years ago and last year it was barely a blip on my radar...but it's back with a vengeance this year. I realize that two years ago, I was distracted with Mom's new hip surgery and delighted to be back home in my own space. And last year, my Mabel passed and I had my hands full with my new girl Macy.  Distractions are a good thing apparently.

I know you wouldn't want me to be so sad all these years...but how can I not be?? I was a rude pubescent teen, punished by the lies of my mother, the misconceptions of my grandmother, who never understood the truth of you. The unconditional love and joy you brought to my life. What a shame to have the only a parent who thinks you are wonderful for a mere 11 years!

I'm so sorry for how rude I was before you died...not wanting to talk to you. I was an angry girl...those lies not making sense and I had to struggle to find my own truth, your truth, our truth. And even now, it's still unfolding...the things this love-child never knew.

I inherited a stack of childhood photos of me when your beloved only sister (my Sissy) died. The revelations they bring are sweet and tender.

I never knew we spent a Christmas together or that I spent any Christmas with your family... but here's your mom sitting in our living room the first Christmas I remember. Mother was taking too long to warm my clothes in front of the heater and after she got my shirt on, I could stand the wait no more. I raced, bare bottomed to see if Santa had brought me a trike...And that seat was SO COLD! But I was so happy to have it, I rode around the den with my naked behind in the air! And all these years later, I learn you and Sissy and Ma Pearl were a part of it. Just look as Sissy being a little mother hen as I ride!

Here I am putting on a show in Sissy's den and I'm pretty sure that's your knee in the shot, taking the photo. Why are there so few photos of us??? I know we spent so much time together... was your fear of exposure so great that there are only two photos of us in existence??? And your head is cut off in one of them. How sad.

Again in Sissy's living room... Mother's luggage on the floor tells me we were there to stay a few days. I always remember being welcomed with open arms. Your mother and siblings and most of their spouses accepted me with love. It breaks my heart that my brothers do not. I'll bet it breaks yours too. How could a little girl be a threat to grown men?

I loved finding this shot of me coming out of the office of the family plumbing store like I owned the joint. The stories of me tossing cash out of the register are legend and it's so sweet to see me there...in your space.

So about your "half" birthday. The other day a real life friend on Facebook had bought a cake and had a party for her dad...who would have been 100...in heaven.  Seeing her video brought me so much joy. And I've been so sad, so broken, thinking of our time cut so short... that video made me realize I need to see it differently. I have to. You were born on the 9th and you left me on the 9th. So I've decided, from here on in, to celebrate how wonderful you were on your half birthday. Since you always loved a good party, I'm certain it's OK with you.

Happy Half Birthday Daddy. I love you!

Oh Ru - beeee, Don't Take Your Love to Town

The rotten boys Mabel and I hike with have a new sissy to keep them in line and her name is...Ruby! She's a rescue and hasn't had a lot of time with other dogs. She and Mabel snarl at each other for a good 30 seconds and then all their female bitchiness disappears and we have a nice hike! Go figure! Isn't she a cutie patootie???

I've long had a weakness for dog butts and rottie butts are the best. I just adore those little Rorschach  tests on the back end. But Ruby's is extra special:

If that doesn't tell you what she's all about...

Build a Better Basket

Mabel Lou here. My friend Twinkie tagged me in her blog. I don't really have my own blog - I just borrow Mom's from time to time. (Mom? Why not? Twinkie has one? Because we would spend even more time on the computer and less time hiking. Oh... so it's a good thing I don't have my own blog!)

Funny, but I thought THIS was tagging:

That's me with Twinkie and her big sissy Linguini. Her other sister, Frankie, was running with us too.

But Mom tells me tagging is played on blogs too. Twinkie knows that I would love to have a boy of my very own. Mom says that's never gonna happen so Twinkie suggested I do something to help children by playing this tag game.

A company that makes chocolate...something my mom never shares with me but seems to love so much is donating money to an amazing charity. The organization they're supporting is the Children's Miracle Network, a non profit that raises funds for children's hospitals.

Hershey's will donate to the Children's Miracle Network $10 for every blog post about this blog-hopping event that ends on April 4th. So, everybody feel free and encouraged to join Hershey's Better Basket Blog Hop and help raise $5,000 for the Children's Miracle Network.

I'm only going to tag my Mom. But if you want to join in the fun, here are the rules:

HERSHEY’S BETTER BASKET BLOG HOP RULES

• Copy and paste these rules to your blog post.
• Create a blog post giving a virtual Easter Basket to another blogger – you can give as many Virtual Baskets as you want.
• Link back to person who gave you an Easter Basket.
• Let each person you are giving a Virtual Easter Basket know you have given them a Basket.
• Leave your link at BetterBasket.info/BlogHop comment section. You can also find the official rules of this #betterbasket blog hop, and more information about Better Basket with Hershey’s there.
• Hershey’s is donating $10 per each blog participating to the Better Basket Blog Hop to Children’s Miracle Network (up to total of $5,000 by blog posts written by April 4th, 2010).
• Please note that only one blog post by each blog url will count towards the donation.

It's a fine way to help some boys... and girls!!!

Oh and one more thing: My pal Twinkie is hosting the Global Animal Blogging Event (GABE) coming up in a few weeks. It's going to be lots of fun to participate! If you blog about animals, check it out!

A Is for...

If you are looking for my One World One Heart post, it's here and my other blog OWOH contest is here.

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I got this challenge from Alison. The challenge is to list ten of your favorite things that begin with a certain letter that is assigned you by the blogger. I was assigned the letter A.

Oh boy, here goes:

1) America - Land that I love. With all our problems, it is still a beautiful and amazing place to live. Not a week goes by that I don't think about my dumb luck at being born here.

2) Art / Artist - I have a deep appreciation for all creative endeavors: The vision, the planning the execution. All are fascinating.

3) Azul - Spanish for Blue. I only lived in Argentina for four months and spoke three words of Spanish before that. But there are still certain words that make more sense to my brain in Spanish. This is one of them...not just any blue. It's that really brilliant sky blue when there are no clouds and smog.

4) Aglio y Olio - Spanish for garlic and oil and my favorite pasta topping. Another Spanish phrase forever burned into my brain, this one from a young waiter named Aldo (Another "A" - the best waiter in the world!) at a restaurant named Broccolinos. I would go in on a cold and winter night, too exhausted to have one more conversation. Aldo would just bring me a plate of my favorite pasta. I would leave so happy, I could almost cry.

5) Argentina - While I'm stuck on Spanish, let's add in the only other country I've lived in for any significant length of time. I was lucky enough to see quite a bit of it... Breathtaking rivers, pristine beaches, rustic cowboy country, mountain deserts that reminded me of California, quaint wine country and the most amazing waterfall: Iguazu. Alas, I'm still hoping to get back and see Tierra del Fuego and those penguins!

6) Acorns - I'm often dumbstruck that huge trees can grow out of something as plain and simple as an acorn! When I'm out walking and find particularly interesting ones, I sometimes put them in my pockets. My mom still gets a kick out of this habit!

7) Aunt - Ahh... the next best thing to mom. I had two aunts on either side of my family that adored me. My mother's sister-in-law (Ann - another A!) would make me my favorite childhood meal every time I flew into Baton Rouge: Homemade biscuits and tomato gravy. When she died, I told her son that I wanted to "inherit" her biscuit recipe. But, she never wrote it down!

My father's only sister was, in many ways, my emotional mother. She's the one I would run to when I needed to talk. She never interfered, judged or criticized; she never tried to fix my problem. She listened, she hugged, she laughed, she cried and sometimes, if asked, would give advice. I've written about Sister / Sissy here before and how I know she visited me after her death. Just the other day, I was thinking about how miraculous that was...that she loved me enough to linger a little longer here.

7) Animals - I do love all animals, but I have a very weak spot for dogs.

8) Abnormal - I love this word - maybe because I've always thought of myself as abnormal. But the other reason is, I can't hear it without hearing that line in Young Frankenstein.... Abby Normal.

"Which brain did you take?"

"Abby's brain."

"Abby WHO?"

"Abby Normal."

It just makes me smile.

9) Apologize - I can't say I like it but I always do it, so I must like it! Even when I do nothing to apologize for! And I've been doing that since I could talk! Annoying! I do think a thoughtful apology can go a long way in mending relationships.

10) Ambrosia - Who doesn't love ambrosia???

And, since I cheated a little with Spanish words... I'll add a bit more:

11) Ahhhh - The sound I make when I finally call it a night and curl up on the sofa with Mabel Lou.

12) Advertising - I made a lot of money making commercials and I'm one of the weirdos who tape the big football game to see the commercials! I adore cleverly crafted 30 second films.

On the other hand, how about a few "A" things I hate:

1) Advertising - I LOVE my dvr so I can fast forward through most of those dreadful commercials.

2) Accounting - I HATE this part of running a business.

3) Abdomen - I dislike this part of my body the most. If I could cut it off, I wouldn't miss it!

4) Aches - the worst part of getting old.

5) Addictions - Even though I've had family members deal with these, I still don't get it.

6) Adolescence - Wouldn't do it again if you paid me.

7) Adolescent boys - I despised the times my Godsons went through the "I'm right and you're old and stupid" phase. So glad both are older now!

8) Ants - If you live in California, no matter how clean or dirty your kitchen, you will get ants! They make my flesh crawl!

9) Apathy - How uninteresting is that??? Care about something, dammit! It makes you passionate!

10) A$$holes - Self explanatory

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Well Inspired One, did I do a good job???